First time I’ve picked up a curling iron in a year, and it shows, haha. Gotta practice for Saturday. 
This isn’t the dress that I originally bought for the wedding. Might not wear that one as it’s a bit too tight to be appropriate. As in - I really can’t get away with wearing underpants.
*goes through old prom dresses*
I CAN STILL FIT INTO THESE, RIGHT
RIGHT?!
*finds one*
…needs a necklace. :|

First time I’ve picked up a curling iron in a year, and it shows, haha. Gotta practice for Saturday. 

This isn’t the dress that I originally bought for the wedding. Might not wear that one as it’s a bit too tight to be appropriate. As in - I really can’t get away with wearing underpants.

*goes through old prom dresses*

I CAN STILL FIT INTO THESE, RIGHT

RIGHT?!

*finds one*

…needs a necklace. :|

Tags: personal

M A L Q E

"No one can love you betta…"

Yeah, so he’s a betta mer-person. :)
One of the more serious members of the mer-gang. 

M A L Q E

"No one can love you betta…"

Yeah, so he’s a betta mer-person. :)

One of the more serious members of the mer-gang. 

(Source: fictionalistic)

Lesson Notes 8/17/14

I only got one leg position correction today. ONE. I am incredibly excited that my position’s getting better. Now, I have to work on keeping my arms from flapping, but that’s something I can fix more easily. 

Radar got clipped today - pretty badly, haha, but it did the job - and boy, was he more sensitive. As.. sensitive as Radar gets, LOL.

Good, marching walk. He felt like he had more push today. I still have to work on keeping my upper body tighter for this gait. 

Multi-tasking!! Reins in one hand, other hand moves to touch the horse’s neck and then to his hip/croup (wherever your arm can reach), repeat with other hand. It was mostly an exercise to see if the arm with the reins could stay still while the other arm moved. It’s hard, but after you get a rhythm going, things don’t seem so hard. 

We did this WTC, and lemme tell you - canter was the easiest because the horse sets up the rhythm for you, and you don’t have to reach as far back when he’s got his hind legs pushing more beneath him. 

And we got off the line after that. I don’t even know how this happened, but Radar and I were totally.. in sync?? (Bye, bye bye.) Like, it felt like I had a direct connection with his brain. I didn’t even have to analyze how to make turns - I just thought about doing them, and Radar and I were.. turning kind of perfectly (shh, not worrying about amount of bend right now) for across-the-diagonal and down the center line. Big step for an overanalyzer like me. :)

Radar was such a powerhouse with right lead canter. We made it at least four laps before he decided he was done. Which is a lot for him. And much more when you realize you didn’t have to keep pushing and pushing him. 

WHO’S THE BEST STONER PONY?? :D

Tags: personal

L I À N G

of all the fish in the sea…

Part of my MOGII mergang. He used to be a Taiwanese-bred pet koi fish.
And as you can see, I still can’t manage to draw the human body below the shoulders. u____u;
—-
"I just wanna be part of your woooorld!"
*gets a bunch of ear piercings*
"Am I part of it yet? Should I quote a meme?"

L I À N G

of all the fish in the sea…

Part of my MOGII mergang. He used to be a Taiwanese-bred pet koi fish.

And as you can see, I still can’t manage to draw the human body below the shoulders. u____u;

—-

"I just wanna be part of your woooorld!"

*gets a bunch of ear piercings*

"Am I part of it yet? Should I quote a meme?"

(Source: fictionalistic)

"It should be noted that the rider’s capacity for performing his activities may be improved by practice up to a stage when - without being automatic - they become quite instinctive. There is a big different between ‘instinctive’ and ‘automatic.’ In the former actions the ‘feeling’ dominates the physical movements, and in the latter pure movements are performed only. Instinctive actions are sensitive, and automatic ones mechanical. What is mechanical in riding upsets the horse, since it is not an engine but a living being."

— Lt. Col. A. L. d’Enrody, “Give Your Horse a Chance”

Rule one: always post the rules

Rule two: answer the questions the person who tagged you asked and write 11 new ones

Rule three: tag 11 people and link them to the post

Rule four: actually tell them that you tagged them

tagged by cocomingox

1. What is a hobby that you have/had that people might find odd/interesting?

Odd… um, does making equestrian AUs count?

2. How do you feel about your body image, and why?

There are some days I feel at peace with my body image, and others when I can’t quite look at myself in a mirror. These days, though, I’m feeling better about it. It helps to read tumblr posts about having thighs that can break a neck, if needed. :)

3. If you could move any where in the world or universe, where would you go?

I’m pretty content to stay in the Bay Area, but if I had the option of a vacation instead, I’d love to visit Japan or Taiwan (this time, without relatives’ expectations hanging over my neck like a guillotine). 

4. What is your favorite type of story or author?

I find myself engaged in stories with a wry, witty voice - the narrator or whomever is telling the story. For example, any book in Walter Moers’ Zamonia series. Never fails to get me to break my “reading face.”

5. Do you like poetry? If so, which kind/poet?

My taste in poetry skips around, mostly because I get stuck on a certain poem, and then move onto another poem that catches my eye from a completely different poet. (This happens with music, too. Never ask me which music genres I like best.) 

One poem that’s stuck with me since I was a kid is W.H. Auden’s “The More Loving One”: Read here.

Also, “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley: Here.

6. Do you like coffee? If so, how do you like it? If not, why?  WHY.

I enjoy coffee when it’s mostly sugar and milk and tastes almost nothing like coffee (but still has a coffee aroma). Yeah, it gets kind of gross. So I tend to stick to barley tea because coffee, even in its least coffee-like form, makes my hands jittery.

7. Have pets? Tell me about them!

No pets, sadly. :( I really want to remedy that in the near future.

I get to hang out with Radar and the barn cats ‘n dogs once a week, though! 

Radar’s a 15/16(?) year old Fjord lesson horse whose favorite activities are eating and sleeping. He’s one of the most patient horses around, for real.

Rosie the barn cat is sweet - loves human contact, and will nibble on your sleeve while you pet her.

Dolly the sometimes-barn dog is a big lug of a labrador retriever who will literally pull herself into your lap if you’re sitting next to her for an optimal petting/scritching experience.

8. Ask your significant other for one quirky/funny memory about you. If S.O. fails to compute or you are single, share one from your best friend.

No significant other. No best friend anymore. 

Radar: “So this one time this chick is on my back. And I’m halfway there to a nice nap when she tells me to wake the hell up. Asshole. Whatever, man. *commences naptime*”

9. What do you love most about life?

That stories exist - in written and in drawn/built/sculpted form! And that horses have been domesticated to be.. just.. haha, well, quite an interesting experience. :P

10. You’ve stepped on a needle. It’s pretty deep in your foot, so you can’t easily walk without first aid being done. Do you sit down calmly and yank it out while clenching your teeth, or hop around like a maniac screaming for help while crying?

I’d probably gurgle a bit, and if there weren’t any kids around, I’d let out a strangled “Gods-fucking-fffffuuuuuuck" before trying to yank it out.

11. If you’re an artist, perhaps show us some art that may or may not be connected to the fandom/blog you usually post for… like something more personal.  If you’re a writer or a poet, share a poem or a snippet of one in progress.  If you have another hobby, show me something from it! :)

Here’s a snippet of the smutty one-shot I’ve been procrastinating working on for a while:

"When Tango’s fingers clasp firmly around her neck, thumbs pressing lightly against her larynx, Ruse doesn’t move her hands an inch. Her entire body remains stock still, with only the gentle rise and fall of her chest - the one thing she can’t control - that betrays her. She hears Tango’s pleased hum in her ear, approval that sets her chest aglow with something akin to happiness.

"Good girl," Tango praises. Once upon a time, those words would have been accompanied by a teasing nip on her bottom lip, but it seems Tango isn’t quite ready for that kind of closeness yet. Ruse isn’t sure she is, either. Their eyes lock - it’s as close to their former intimacy as they can manage.

With that, Tango eases a knee between Ruse’s thighs, parting them easily. A hand loosens and disentangles from Ruse’s neck, the one remaining shifting to the center and tightening to compensate its partner’s absence. There’s a soft gurgle as Ruse adjusts to the increase in pressure, but she doesn’t mouth her safe word, so Tango carries on with a smile. The hand drifts down the length of Ruse’s blouse, unbuttoning with light flicks. Her touch ghosts over uncovered flesh, tracing her sternum and the gentle rise of bone against soft skin.”

—-

Questions:

1. What are your expectations and desires for future (near and/or distant)?

2. What’s the book (or work of art in general) that’s most impacted you?

3. If you could be granted one superpower, what would it be? And if you say, “The power to gain more superpowers,” well, you’re pretty clever, aren’t you? But for the purpose of this questionnaire, let’s axe that option.

4. Favorite childhood food - do you still like it, or have you come to hate it with time?

5. If you could rewrite one novel to change whatever you wish, which novel would it be? And for extra kudos, what’s the main thing you’d change?

6. What’s the first movie you remember watching? In theatres or on TV, whichever.

7. What’s the one song you can never get sick of listening to?

8. Do you remember the worst fic you’ve ever read? What was it about?

9. Is there a fictional character you like (or dislike) who happens to share your interests?

10. What’s your dreamcast for a novel you enjoy?

11. Favorite family member? (No need to be biologically related to ‘em, of course.)

Tagging: You. If you want to answer the questions, feel free!

Tags: personal

are you what you want to be?

Esther can almost hear it when another rib cracks.

She’s on her back, her breath completely knocked out of her lungs, struggling to breathe with a pair of knees digging into her chest. 

"Get…off!" She wheezes, glaring up at the triumphant face of her so-called mentor, West Tsai-Shim. The ox-shifter only shifts her knees, grinning sadistically. 

"What’s the magic word, bratling?"

Esther gathers the last of her strength in her core, and with a subvocal growl, bucks West off of her. Fuck off!” She has a feeling that West let her do that, but she’s too pissed to analyze. She gets back on her feet, and already, she feels the ache in her ribs. 

When Esther turns to see West, she’s on the receiving end of the most unimpressed stare she’s ever encountered. And considering the life she’s had, well, that’s fairly impressive. 

"That was pathetic, Kaplan," West sneers, eyeing her heavily breathing form with derision. "What’s the point in learning to fight if you don’t want to win?”

"I do want to win!" Esther protests, cradling her ribcage protectively. 

"Then fucking act like it for once. You’re fighting me like you don’t care if I gore the life outta you with my horns. Why the hell did you want me to teach you anyway?" 

The tiger shifter grits her teeth, averting her eyes from West’s surprisingly disappointed expression. 

West shoves at Esther’s shoulder, smirking when Esther lets out a pained groan. "Huh? I couldn’t hear you."

When Esther fails to answer, the Chinese-Korean woman moves to shove her again. This time, Esther moves out of the way in time, though the movement jars her injuries.

"I—I’m doing this for someone I care about. So I can protect her the way she’s protected me," Esther chokes out. It galls her to have to admit something so fiercely personal to a person like West, but it’s also nothing she’s ashamed of. Or so she tells herself.

West looks at her consideringly. "Well, would’ja look at that! Kitty’s got depth!"

Esther rolls her eyes. "Yes, well. I’ll try harder. Next time."

"You’d fucking better," West says with a strange gleam in her eye. "Or you’re better off letting someone else protect your precious little girlfriend."

The next time West deigns to train her, Esther flips West on her back and delivers a crushing blow to her jaw. West can’t speak for days, only communicating in glares and rude hand gestures. 

It’s a start. 

Lesson Notes 8/9/14

Allergies have got me down and tired, so really quick rehash of what happened today.

No-stirrups riding, yay! Not a sarcastic yay. A pretty genuine yay bc it turns out I am strong enough to post without stirrups. Hurrah! Sitting trot and canter feels so much easier without stirrups, augh. And when you get your stirrups back, your legs feel way too long for them.

Need to think about keeping elbows in “hip pockets.” And keep them there for everything - walk, trot, canter, halt. 

Getting really in tune with Radar. On a whim, while cantering, I decided to turn him early down the center line and, like, we were straight and still cantering. Totally expected him to drift, but he didn’t.

Uh, totally different story for asking for a leg-yield while cantering. I haven’t done that in a while, so we’ll work on it next time.

We got left lead canter, like, three times without getting the wrong lead in between. Nice, clean departs! He couldn’t hold it for long, but whatever - it’s progress for him (and me, as the person who needs to make sure he’s bending and keeping his balance). 

I feel a lot more confident out around the arena. There was someone riding near us, and I totally trusted myself and Radar to get out of their way. NICE. NO 4-HORSE COLLISIONS FOR ME. 

And after Radar got taken care of, I got to hang out with the cuddliest lab retriever ever. Dolly hauled herself onto my lap and used her paws to pull me closer so I could pet her more, haha. Literal lap dogs make me laugh. :)

Tags: personal

First time applying liquid foundation with a buffing brush. Ehh… need more practice.
I need to up my skincare maintenance bc apparently that’s why the foundation gets splotchy near dry areas. After my current moisturizer is done with (-417 on sale at Ross is like $9, so get on that if you like dead sea minerals…stuff), I’ll try First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream. It’s supposed to be good for eczema and other skin irritations. I really liked Dr. Jart’s whatever moisturizer thing, but it was like $38. Yeeeeah, no.
I’m learning so much - didn’t know make-up/skincare could be so fun! n_n 
The one good thing that’s come from preparing for my brother’s wedding: learning to put on my war face. 

First time applying liquid foundation with a buffing brush. Ehh… need more practice.

I need to up my skincare maintenance bc apparently that’s why the foundation gets splotchy near dry areas. After my current moisturizer is done with (-417 on sale at Ross is like $9, so get on that if you like dead sea minerals…stuff), I’ll try First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream. It’s supposed to be good for eczema and other skin irritations. I really liked Dr. Jart’s whatever moisturizer thing, but it was like $38. Yeeeeah, no.

I’m learning so much - didn’t know make-up/skincare could be so fun! n_n 

The one good thing that’s come from preparing for my brother’s wedding: learning to put on my war face

Tags: personal

Even more make-up notes (sorry sorry!):

  • Goss’ make-up vids yessss 
  • After applying your moisturizer/primer, start with loose powder. Then, apply your main foundation. If oily skin, dust affected areas with same loose powder. (Need to try as it says blush/bronzer applies more smoothly after that, and foundation sticks all day). 
  • BareMinerals’ liquid foundation might not be best for oily skin, but good for dry skin - ehh…
  • Always use a clean brush to blend eyeshadow (need to retire my current too-large-for-me eyeshadow brush to make into a blending brush). Blend w/ circular motions up and out.
  • For a smokey eye, extend the color a little past the eye’s crease to make for an easier time blending the color into “nothing.” Only about fraction of an inch. Watch me botch this. :|
  • haha he uses his mom as a make-up model for one vid she’s adorable
  • "love at first pump" omg
  • If you need to change eyeshadow colors, but don’t want to wait for brush to dry, vigorously scrub brush through a stippling sponge. Must try this as I have exactly one eyeshadow brush, and I always mix the dark/light colors. BUT STILL WASH THEM WHY WOULDN’T YOU ALSO DO THAT.
  • EYEBROW TUTORIAL YES I NEEDED THAT
  • Okay, start with three dots just above the eyebrow: one where your brow starts, the highest point of the brow, and where you want your brow to end. Connect these three dots. Brush out the brows (no worries if looks bold rn). Arch of the brow and tail are the strongest points to focus on…..AND HE LOST ME. What. How. HELP.
  • For curling eyelashes, do once normally, do it a second time pulling up and… ugh just watch this and try not to laugh
  • Eyeshadow tutorial yes good
  • Applying foundation powder w powder puff - PRESS AND ROLL
  • More matte foundation might be better for those with that invisible peach fuzz thing (it’s only up near my hairline which.. is inconvenient) - use fingers or blender sponge. If using fingers, use downward strokes - NEVER CIRCLES or upward strokes. When it comes to the upper lip, take slow, deliberate strokes. Always, remove the fingers from the face with each stroke. 
  • PUSH LINER BRUSH for convenience?
  • I’ve fallen into this youtube channel vortex and can’t get out

Tags: personal

More make-up notes (sorry):

Tags: personal

Lesson Notes 8/3/14

First time doing trot poles with Radar, and it was SO FUN. The poles were still spaced out according to a larger (16hh?), leggier horse’s strides, but Radar took ‘em like a champ! It’s so fun to get that bouncy trot outta him. Trainer says we can work up to crossrails if I want - and yeah, I want!

After the poles, we were supposed to go right into canter, but Radar tends to bulge out his right shoulder and drift, so yeah - things to remember for next time. 

His cantering feels better this week! I guess he needed an extra push. (Also, use a dressage whip next time so you don’t need to stick the reins in one hand to tap behind the leg.) Still can’t get a left-lead out of him, but he gave me a wonderfully forward right lead both ways! Like, we went around the arena twice at a fast clip - and yeah, twice is no big, but for a horse as unmotivated as Radar, that’s quite a lot. 

Need to work on half-halting before transitioning from canter down to trot. He barrels down, and he ends up on his forehand. At the same time, I don’t want to hold him in that half-halt for too long. It’s one of the things I was working on before I got to this trainer - making my half-halts shorter and more precise.

Excited for more off-the-lead riding! And it’s nice that trainer isn’t pressuring me off it more than I’m comfortable with. It’s my choice and new-found confidence that’s leading my way. :) And Radar, of course, haha.

Tags: personal

Make-Up Notes to Self:

- Stippling brush & blending sponge from TJ Maxx or Ross

- Maybe a smaller eyeshadow brush from the above store(s)

- Try Maybelline Dream Wonder Fluid ~$8-9 at Target 

- If not enough coverage, try Sephora 10 hr Wear Perfection Foundation $20 ugh that Maybelline foundation had better work out bc $20 nooooo

- What do I do about eyeshadow. :| My dress for the wedding is this:

 and black accents. And I’m running out of my neutral nude/brown/purple Physician’s Formula eyeshadow set (I’ve had it for several years, and yes, unsanitary blah blah I wash my brushes damn it, but the point is that PF doesn’t appear to make the same one anymore). 

Might try this

- There is actually a make-up product called “Saving Face.” There goes my joke. 

- I have until August 22nd to get my face together for the inevitable family wedding photos. =n=

Tags: personal

S I N T H U R I A

"mad" scientist? I prefer "brilliant"

S I N T H U R I A

"mad" scientist? I prefer "brilliant"

(Source: fictionalistic)

Lesson Notes 7/26/14

I’m such a wimp. Riding in 93 degree weather was… *garbled whining* just barely tolerable. For Radar and I both, haha. 

Did some work trying to keep my left foot still. Trainer threaded the stirrup loosely through the girth straps (not actually tied - that’s v. dangerous, don’t do that) to get me to feel how hard it is to make your feet stay still. Stirrup eventually tugged loose the girth straps, but yeah - point was made. I need to sit up with my abs more and keep my feet under me, and be more conscious of where they are at all times. The feet, not the abs. I would be terribly worried if my abs…moved..around??

Got off the lunge-line again, and did the whole alternating sitting and rising trot thing. Apparently, I navigated well? There was another lesson going on at the same time, and I didn’t think too hard about it - I just moved out of the way and Radar obliged. Weird because steering usually takes, like, 90% of my thinking and really stresses me out. Maybe Radar and I are getting more in-sync. I’d like to think that, if only to keep my confidence up, ha. 

Radar responded with a great canter all the times I asked. EVERY. SINGLE. ASK. Part of it was that he’s generally lighter and more willing when not asked to go in 15 meter circles all the time. But yeah, I don’t have to think too hard to ask anymore. I LOVE muscle memory, esp. when it remembers something the right way.

To keep yourself from getting left behind in the canter, lift your chin higher, and the rest of your torso will follow. Think MURDER, and ride. ;) Thanks, Charlize Theron.

Note to self: Stop wearing your 6-yr-old breeches. They are thin and worn and the reason why the skin over your seat bones has been rubbed raw. 

Also, during sitting trot, I heard my helmet creaking like crazy. Time to replace? It’s only been 6 or 7 years, though, and has never been impacted in a fall. :|